btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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