Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize