Dual....:-)
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I will be naked everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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