Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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