I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
