I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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