I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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