go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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