did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize