I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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