but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
