wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
