I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
