Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I had to cum in my sink.
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