this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
