who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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