this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
being pregnant is like rehab
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i now understand why vodka
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
