Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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