guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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