he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
