just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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