You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize