You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I think people are normalizing furries
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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