She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
