in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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