the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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