Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
