We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
