hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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