My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
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I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
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I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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