woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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