i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
