You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
