You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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