i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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