You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I need to sanitize my soul.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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