I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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