so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Is it penis luge time yet?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
