$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I stole a fireplace last night.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
