The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
