I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
