So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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