Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
