Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
