Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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