You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
