Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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