i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
