you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
