That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
