my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
