all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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