Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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