this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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