Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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