I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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