we're chasing vodka with high fives
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
