The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
