I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
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was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
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Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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