I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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