eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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