come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
