I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
