Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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