Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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