I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Don't tell me you're on acid again
How drunk are you?
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